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The Cancer Council Queensland The Cancer Council Queensland
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How do I help someone with cancer?
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You may have just found out someone close to you has been diagnosed with cancer, and are wondering how you may be able to help them. First of all, take some time to consider how you feel about your friend or relative's cancer diagnosis. Now you will be in a better position to offer them emotional support. Contact The Cancer Council Helpine for more information on 13 11 20 (toll free) Monday to Friday, 8am-8pm.

There are a few different ways of supporting people with cancer.
 
Emotional support
  • Listen.
  • Avoid giving advice or telling of other people's experiences with cancer.
  • Let the person with cancer set the tone of the conversation – they may just want to talk about the cricket.
  • Treat what you are told confidentially.
  • Let people know you are available, but be realistic about when you are.
  • Respect the person's need for privacy, they may not want to, or be ready to talk.

The diagnosis of cancer and subsequent treatment places an additional burden on people's time. Not only are there frequent visits to hospital and contact with the medical profession, but there are the day-to-day responsibilities people also have to maintain. As such, there are a number of practical ways you can offer support. The most important thing is, if you make an offer of support, follow through.

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Practical support
  • Transport to appointments
  • Pick children up from school
  • Prepare a variety of meals that can be frozen
  • Offer home help (laundry, house work, gardening)
  • Offer to do grocery shopping or run errands
  • Offer to look after pets if necessary
  • Take the children out for the day on weekends
  • Offer companionship – sit with them at the hospital or visit at home

People may still be recovering weeks or months after treatment has finished, so continue to offer practical support.

The above lists are not exhaustive, there are many other ways to help. It is also known that a number of things are unhelpful.

These may include:

  • Dismissing people's feelings, or telling them they have to be positive
  • Talking about the latest cure or remedy seen on the news
  • Giving advice
  • Passing on horror stories or other people's bad experiences
  • Talking in clichés, for example, 'it was meant to happen'

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